No Sanctuary
by Onyx-Wildcat
Summary: After that fateful Wednesday... Sam's on the Hunt for Loki to bring Dean back... This is a moment during those 3 long, life changing months...


**Title: No Sanctuary**  
**Author:** Onyx Wildcat  
**Chapters:** FINISHED  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Pairing:** None  
**Archiving:** Supernatural Atlantis/Bad Moon Rising/FanFiction  
**Warnings:** Angst, Heartbreak  
**Spoilers:** Mystery Spot  
**Feedback:** Give it to me baby...  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything that pertains to the Show Supernatural. This is merely for non-profit entertainment for other writers/readers who enjoy the 'What If' pondering when thinking of Supernatural and all it's Supernatural goodness. Also, the song, "**No Sanctuary**" belongs to **Queensryche**. It's only being used as a muse for this short fiction.  
**Onyx's Note:** I had this little story swimming through my mind today and thought, 'Why not write about it?' But of course, when dealing with Sam's dark-emotions I had to find the right song. So I decided to look up Queensryche and check out their lyrics. (Once I heard 'Silent Lucidity' in Heart, I was hooked) So I skimmed through some of their songs and found the exact one for this story flowing through my head. (Blame the evil plot bunnies...evil lil' bastards) So here's a lil' story...of Sam within his 3 month period of searching for Loki in the Mystery Spot. I suppose a 'Lost' episode... And on that note... Please, enjoy!

* * *

The growl of the Impala's engine echoed softly into the cool damp air as darkness hung like a lonely blanket of sleep over a dark horizon. Nothing stirred in the wee hours of morning, so close to the first rays of light. So soon would the sun cast its glory over the earth with its ethereal power. So soon would night fall victim to the awakening day.

But Sam would not see it. Not truly, not with his eyes which were heavy with sleep yet wide with unyielding thoughts. His mind a whirlwind of things that no creature on earth would ever understand, nor ancient gods of times long past, sleeping so soundly in their long forgotten slumber.

He allowed the old beast to roll to a rumbling stop and shut off the engine. He sat there, amongst an army of trees as he sat parked on the side of a rest stop in some weird town in the middle of nowhere… Just as he had for the last two months since that Wednesday…not so long ago. The Wednesday that repeated itself in his mind, over and over like a haunted Ferris wheel unable to stop its ghastly rotation. And that's what it was like in his head. An endless circle that never seemed to stop, a constant spinning of things that would never stop their tireless pursuit for the truth. Completely consumed as to where that sadistic-son-of-a-bitch Loki was hiding.

He sat there in his twisted silence as the first soft rays of light began to bleed deep purple over the dark horizon. But this time was different. Unlike the endless Tuesday mornings he'd spent trying to salvage the life of his brother Dean, he could almost hear the beginning of daylight singing wordlessly against the chaos of his mind.

**There's a certain feeling  
Known to all who hear the sound  
The call of morning rising  
You're in a mystic space  
Can't you feel the force embrace, the chill of the wind  
As it names you**

Sam thought for a moment that he'd heard that familiar rasp of a voice calling out his name. But as he sat there, window cracked only as far as his finger could fit, he felt the chill of the morning breeze whisper through the cab, trying to trickle along his spine.

Ignoring his thoughts, he ran a hand through his hair and sighed. He had stopped, like so many times before, to rest and allow himself some kind of peace. But there was no peace. No sanctuary to ease the tension in his blood or the vengeance eating at his mind. Revenge sat thick and pulsing within his heart. Making it grow coarse with anger and empty with rage. A consuming thing that fed his soul black with cruel intentions.

And all that he'd wanted…was to save the one thing that ever meant anything in his dark existence. The one person who had blocked the hate from taking over his soul…

**Oh, can't you see the lies in front of you  
Your journey ends so far, and still the distance  
Spins round and round you  
Now you cry - give me sanctuary  
You scream but no one listens  
Again you cry - give me sanctuary  
Until the end I'll fight and die, to be free  
Oh! No sanctuary**

A flicker of pain stung at his chest, causing the air in his lungs to become scarce. He fought the moment, pushed back the pain…but found that a small rat of emotion had ripped itself free from its cage and began scampering around his chest. Scratching, biting, clawing for a way out. For a soft spot.

Sam let out a hoarse cough as that damned rat with every ounce of his emotion made its way from his chest and found itself caught in the back of his throat, stinging his eyes with tears long since shed.

His hands slipped to the handle of his door and pushed, almost desperate for a way out… _Just some fresh air_, his mind had said. _That's all I need. Some cold, fresh air to clear my mind and help me think. _The heavy door swung open and instead of just stepping out like he had planned, he half fell, half crawled out of the Impala as though the car had become a small room with no windows and no doors. He felt like he was suffocating.

**You're walking halfway in  
But crawling halfway out  
There's a void in your mind that you cling to  
You feel lost in time, you've got no words to rhyme  
No more charms, no more spells to protect you**

He finally stood on both feet but sagged against the Impala's frame. His legs felt boneless, as though the very ligaments had been torn out like a puppet left hanging on the back of a door in some long forgotten closet.

The emotion-rat that lodged itself in his throat came spilling from his lips as a choked groan of misery that echoed away from his mouth and faded into the cold morning air above his head.

He was alone. Utterly and completely. It had been two months. Two long, overwhelming months and still…no Loki. No way of knowing which direction to go, what demons he'd face along the way. Sam had no idea if he'd ever be able to get back that fateful Wednesday morning… When the world as he knew it went floating away on the last breath that drifted from Dean's lips. Those lips that went cold with the kiss of death… Eyes of vibrant green as vacant as the soul that now sat unmoving within Sam's body.

There was no sanctuary left in this god forsaken world that would mend the wound that festered within Sam's dying spirit.

He had to find a way…

Bring back the life that was so wrongfully taken.

"_I'm supposed to wake up…"_

Sam clenched his eyes tight as the heat of his tears spilled wildly along his flesh, weaving invisible trails of unleashed emotion down his face.

**Oh can't you see the lies in front of you  
Your journey ends so far, and still the distance  
Spins round and round you  
Now you cry - give me sanctuary  
You scream, but no one listens  
Again you cry - give me sanctuary**

"GOD DAMN YOU!" Bellowed a voice that held such terrible pain as the growing light of day continued to bleed into the fading darkness.

Sam wiped angrily at his face and forced that emotion-rat back into its small cage. It gave a meek squeak of protest before he buried it deeper into his internal abyss. Hoping to never again feel its furry body trying to claw its way back to the surface.

With one last unfocused glance to the glowing horizon, he fell back into the car and slammed the door.

The engine roared back to life and with a violent movement, he threw her in reverse, peeled out and slammed his foot down on the petal until it hit the floor.

Sam was going to find that sadistic-son-of-a-bitch…

And when he did… He'd do whatever it took to get his brother back.

**Until the end I'll fight and die  
Oh I've got to be free**

**-Fades to Black-**


End file.
